


Forgive Me

by Leloi



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Dom/sub, M/M, Master/Pet AU, No Bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:52:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leloi/pseuds/Leloi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hastily Sherlock knelt and began to disengage the bomb, tossing it as far away as he could before he wrapped his arms around the shorter man.  “Master?”</p>
<p>John gasped for air, holding his Pet tighter.  “I’m ok.  I’m… ok.  Why does he think I’m a Pet?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Sub/Dom universe that I made up. It has nothing to do with bondage. Think of it as the Pet being very needy emotionally and physically while the Master is very giving. Mycroft explains it somewhere in the fic.
> 
> I actually started this one back in November.
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of Mystrade.

“I see your Pet is well trained” Moriarty crowed as John tried to strangle him. “Such a good little Pet, Sherlock!”

John tightened his grip, suddenly a bit angrier than he had been. Only the laser sightings on Sherlock’s head made him let go, terrified some sniper would pull the trigger.

Moriarty snuck away, leaving them alone next to the pool.

Hastily Sherlock knelt and began to disengage the bomb, tossing it as far away as he could before he wrapped his arms around the shorter man. “Master?”

John gasped for air, holding his Pet tighter. “I’m ok. I’m… ok. Why does he think I’m a Pet?”

^.~ 

The human population was divided into two kinds… Master and Pets. 

Masters were stronger and more protective of the other kind, commonly called Pets. They were dominant of the two. Pets were submissive and often needed protecting. Most people paired up, Master and Pet finding each other through various channels. Not all pairings were sexual. But they would form a life partnership even if they took other mates as gender, sexuality or need for offspring dictated. Those mates in turn would have a partner of their own and a group of Masters and Pets and their mates and families all interrelated were called a Tribe.

John Watson was a Master although he didn’t find his Pet until later in life… and then by accident. For most of his life he believed that he was one of the unpaired souls who lacked a life partner. From puberty he displayed the traits of a Master without a Pet to dominate. Often he had been teased or ignored. 

Desperation led him to his army career… that and his need to prove himself as a protective Master he was born to be. And then the bullet came.

After he was discharged he needed a flat mate and entered the world of the Holmes Family’s Tribe. Sherlock Holmes, a mad latent Pet, was reckless and John quickly entered the role of Master for the first time in his life. The night they met John showed himself for what he was, killing a cabbie who had threatened the unmatched Pet.

The Pet noticed and invited him out to late dinner.

Sherlock Holmes was not the stereotypical Pet. He got into a lot of trouble, which was Pet-like enough… but he didn’t want a Master and made a point to tell John so.

“I can take care of myself…” Sherlock stated before sucking down chow mein noodles.

“You nearly died tonight.” John replied. “That Master… erm… your brother told me you get into a lot of trouble.”

“Are you suggesting that you would like to be my Master?”

John shook his head. “I haven’t met my Pet yet. I know that there may be one out there that perfectly compliments me… but I also know that sometimes it just doesn’t happen. I may be a Pet-less Master.”

“I’m perfectly fine being a Ronin Pet.”

“I think the words ‘wild Pet’ was used to describe you.” John replied, dunking his potsticker in soy vinegar. 

“I like the word ‘Ronin’ more. ‘Master-less samurai…’ Very fun, don’t you think?”

“I have serious doubts as to your status as a samurai… for one thing you’re British.”

“Well… the equivalent.” Sherlock smiled.

“It’s… in my nature to protect. And it’s in your nature to get into trouble. While we live together I will watch your back, that’s just my instinct. Whether or not you want me as your Master… that’s up to you. Deal?”

“If you say so…” Sherlock shrugged and played with his fried rice.

And they often fought and clashed in ideas but John always kept his word and protected Sherlock with every fiber of his being. People started to assume they were paired and some weren’t sure which was which. Sherlock had many Master qualities or whatever the role required when he did his work and manipulated people. He could be aggressive and powerful as a Master if he wanted to. But John often saw the Pet in him, curled up on the couch, reaching out for some tactile contact. 

Sherlock hesitated with the contact but John could see that the Pet wanted it very much. It pained the doctor to see a Pet so emotionally scarred and he wondered what happened to make Sherlock doubt his own need. When Sherlock reached out only a little John would offer him a gentle touch as if to reassure him. In the beginning Sherlock flinched with each touch which made John worry about abuse.

“You ok, mate?” John whispered sometime after the Blind Baker case. 

Sherlock shook his head but kept his hand out as if to tempt John to touch. “It’s nothing. Just reminded of my years at uni… with all them…”

“Did something happen?” John asked, lightly touching Sherlock’s fingertips with his own.

“Just… bad memories. I’ll be fine.” Hastily Sherlock pulled his hand away. And they didn’t speak of it again.

But Mycroft, it seemed, had no such qualms about touching his own Pet. The aristocratic hand lingered at Lestrade’s back, squeezing lightly to instill confidence as they stood together at a crime scene. And in that way John realized Sherlock’s abuse had probably come from uni and not his childhood.

The Pet consulting detective offered his flat mate a small smile after he noticed his brother with Lestrade and continued with his work.

Later that night after the case was over both Sherlock and John sat on the couch watching telly.

“Your brother is a Master.”

“That he is. He’s very strong.”

“Lestrade is his Pet?”

“They formed an alliance when I got sober… and have been together ever since. Mycroft has seen Lestrade through his failed marriage. Of course she’s no longer a member of our tribe… ran off with her Master… she was also a Pet.”

“Did you ever find a Master? One you considered?”

Sherlock stared a long time at John and then looked away. “I was young and stupid. He wasn’t my Master… he never was.”

“I don’t mean to pry… I’ve just… noticed some things. You’re tentative about receiving tactile assurance.”

“He made it clear I wasn’t to touch him… that he found my touch revolting. When I pushed him too far he used his fists. Is that what you want to know, John?”

Anger clouded John’s eyes. “Who is he? I’ll… I’ll…” John stood up, his protective instinct kicking up to high gear, ready to take on the Master that had dared to harm Sherlock.

“John! John… wait! Sit down.” Sherlock caught John’s jumper sleeve and tugged. “Please? Master, please?”

John broke out of his protective mode and blinked down at Sherlock, unsure he heard what he thought he just heard. “What?”

“Sit. I didn’t mean you should go out and take him on!” Sherlock shook his head. “I’m fine. It was a long time ago… and Mycroft already took care of him. He IS my brother, after all… and a Master. He wouldn’t let anyone harm a member of our tribe. Of course I was little messed up from it. I just… don’t share this…”

John reached out and slowly caressed Sherlock’s cheekbone. “I would never hurt you.”

“I know.” Sherlock closed his eyes and leaned into John’s hand. 

They sat that way for a long time, John guiding Sherlock’s head to his shoulder as they watched telly. “I have a date tomorrow night…”

“I… know…” Sherlock replied.

“Do you want me to cancel it?”

Sherlock reached out and patted John’s crotch. “I know you need it.”

John caught Sherlock’s hand, feeling uncomfortable with the implication. “It hasn’t gotten that far yet.” They held hands as they watched, unwilling to break the contact. John lightly caressed Sherlock’s hand with his thumb. “I’ll stay if you ask me to.”

Sherlock frowned and pulled away his hand. “You just pity me! Go on! Go have some randy fun! I don’t care. I’m just the freak… no one wants me anyway.”

“Sherlock!”

“Let’s not forget what this is, John! Just a Master and a Pet living together. That doesn’t mean I belong to you or that you are mine. You don’t need my permission to go shag some woman you just met!”

John made a face, horrified. “I thought…”

“Yeah? Well you thought WRONG!”

John got up from the couch and turned to glare at his flat mate. “Yeah… maybe I’m NOT your Master… but I still CARE about you, Sherlock! Pet or not… I still CARE!” Hastily John grabbed his jacket and left the flat. That was the last time Sherlock saw him until the pool and John walked out with a bomb strapped to his chest.

^.~

Sherlock shook his head, leaning against John. “He’s a Master. Probably thinks I have to be one too… I’m not exactly the stereotypical Pet, am I?”

“No… no, you’re not!” John held his Pet. 

“Wait! I’m so unpredictable!” Moriarty called as he came back, just giving John enough time to let go of Sherlock and spin around, placing himself between the red dots and Sherlock’s body.

And then… within a few minutes a phone call came, calling off Moriarty and he slithered away. 

The last of the laser dots went out and John crouched down on the floor, breathing deeply. “He’s INSANE!”

Sherlock sat beside his Master, reaching out to touch one of the other man’s fingers. “Let’s go home, John.”

John nodded and they both got up from the floor. 

^.~

The naked woman stared back at the Master and Pet, licking her lips. “So… who’s the Master here?” Winking at John she gave her full attention to Sherlock as John could only stare mutely at the wash basin he held. Protective instinct took a moment to kick in, having faced a hard reboot by walking in to see Sherlock and a naked woman together. 

“You can’t just…” John began.

“Oh, but I can! You’re the Master? Interesting… Maybe I should teach you how to play with your Pet.”

“Play with my… Pet…” John’s mind decided to do another hard crash at that moment.

“John!” Sherlock commanded.

“Right… I’ll just be… going…” John’s brain rebooted once again with the plan he and Sherlock had worked out… the one that involved the fire alarm. 

Of course it didn’t end the way it was supposed to. And a couple of CIA agents and a drugged out Sherlock later they were home again with a very groggy Pet. 

“Play with my Pet…” John mused for the twentieth time since he put his Pet to bed. 

“John! John! Master…” Sherlock called.

In a flash John was in the room, helping Sherlock back onto the bed. “Time for sleep.”

“John… John wait…” Sherlock made a grab for John’s waist and held him on the bed. “Wait, John…”

“I’m here.” John sighed and turned to regard his poor groggy Pet.

“She was naked…” Sherlock let out a giggle.

“Yes… very much so.”

“Never saw a naked woman before.”

John wrapped an arm around Sherlock’s head. “It’s alright… they kindof have that effect on all of us, mate.”

“Master?”

“What is it, Sherlock?”

“Can I see you naked?”

“Maybe when you’re a little less drugged out of your mind.” John replied with a soft smile and a kiss to Sherlock’s temple. “Let me up?”

“Stay with me?”

“Alright… I’ll stay.” John toed off his shoes and got comfortable on the bed with Sherlock draped over him.

As they both drifted off to sleep a woman’s orgasmic moan filled the room. John startled and looked to the corner of the room the sound came from… seeing Sherlock’s coat there. His arms tightened on his Pet protectively.

^.~

John hated being kidnapped by Mycroft Holmes. It was a regular occurrence when Sherlock had spent too much time ignoring his brother so Mycroft would snatch Sherlock’s Master off the street to have man to man talks with his brother’s protector. 

“When I directed you towards my brother I had hoped you would do a better job. This Irene business was a little messy.” Mycroft chastised.

“And who’s fault was that? Sherlock told me you sent her to him… to mess with his head.”

“He said that?”

John blushed and bit his lip, knowing Sherlock hadn’t said those words exactly. “Not… precisely. But I KNOW.”

“Oh? Do you now? Did she get the possessive juices flowing? A little competition is always good for the bedroom…”

“Mycroft!” John growled sharply.

“Look… I had hoped you would take care of my brother’s needs… protect him. Keep him safe.”

“From all the nasty boogeymen you throw our way?” John queried.

“My brother is one of my best allies. He is smart and can work out almost any puzzle put before him… but he has a weakness in his biology. He was born to be submissive. Our society calls them Pets but that’s just a nickname. They are submissive and they need a dominant to balance them out in order to function as any dominant needs a submissive to protect and keep them from taking on the world. You, sir, belong to my brother. It is your role to balance him and protect him so he can do his work without making himself a target. I give him the puzzles he craves and have him work out my delicate situations. It is your role to make sure he doesn’t destroy himself in the process. Do I make myself clear?”

John growled softly, keeping his gaze fixed on the other man. 

“I want you to protect him… your instinct is to protect him… we both want the same thing. Yes, I may send you ‘boogeyman’ so to speak but I have every confidence that between the two of you, you can handle it. Just keep doing what you’ve already been doing… but more. Sherlock should not have been so easily swayed by a female Master. She should never have had power over him. You need to establish MORE dominance.”

“What would you suggest?” John asked quietly, angrily.

“Bed him.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You are his dominant… so dominate him. Tie him to you with your body.”

“I… can’t! You know he was emotionally scarred! He told me about the Master he found at uni.”

“Yes… rather a disturbing chap. He damaged Sherlock almost beyond repair.”

“I won’t hurt him.”

“You won’t be hurting him. You’ll be making sure he can’t wander off and get himself hurt. You are his Master. Take him, John Watson, Master of my brother… Tribesman. Be Master and mate to him.”

John stared at the ground, mulling over Mycroft’s words.

^.~

“God… I’m so tired…” John stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. “Running after imaginary hounds at all hours of the night…”

Sherlock looked up from where he sat on their double bed. Vaguely he waved John closer. “I could do with a full night of rest as well.”

“Have you seen my pajamas? They were just here on the bed.” As John bent down to look at the floor he found his towel pulled away from his hips. Quickly he stood back up, covering himself with his hands. “That’s not funny! Give back the towel.”

“No.” Sherlock replied, smiling up at John. “You said I could see you naked.”

“When?”

“Several months ago… I believe I may have been drugged… but you promised.”

John sighed and pulled his hands away for a moment. “Alright… may I have my dignity back?” 

Sherlock reached out and lightly touched John’s damp hip, eyes lingered on all the places normally never uncovered. “John?”

John lowered his hands to his side and stared down at his Pet. “What is it, Sherlock?”

“Come to bed.” Sherlock looked scared, frightened as he pulled back the blanket next to him. 

“As soon as I find my pajamas…”

“No… now.” Sherlock whispered, patting the spot beside him. “Master? Please?”

John nodded and climbed into bed as Sherlock shut off the lamp. They lay side by side in the chilled sheets, staring up at the ceiling. “I think you should know… Mycroft asked me to mate you.”

Sherlock turned his head to look at John in the darkness. “I know.”

“You do?”

“He said I’d be safer if we were connected mind, body and soul.”

“What do you think about that?”

“You’ll stop dating.”

“Not that I’ve been dating much anymore… but yeah. I would be faithful to you, of course.”

“Then I will…”

“But we don’t have to. I’d be faithful if you want me to even if we didn’t mate.”

“John?”

“Yes?”

“Do you find me physically appealing?”

“What? Yes… yes, of course I do. Why would you ask? Cheekbones and upturned collar, remember?”

“Because… You haven’t asked me to sleep with you yet.”

“I… didn’t think you wanted to have that kind of relationship with me.”

“You’re my Master…”

The vulnerability in Sherlock’s voice caused his John to roll towards him, wrapping his arms around the taller man. “Just because I’m your Master doesn’t mean I can demand sex from you, Sherlock. You are your own man and you get to decide who to share your body with... if at all.”

Sherlock rolled them over so he was straddled over John’s hips, gently grinding them together. “It’s not because you’re… revolted by my touch?”

“Oh God! No, Sherlock! I could never be… Your touch is amazing.”

“Touch me?” The younger man’s words were filled with hope and fear that John could not disobey. Reaching up his hand he lightly grazed Sherlock’s cheek. The detective ground his hips against the man beneath him.

John reached into Sherlock’s pajama bottoms and wrapped a hand around the cock he found there. “Sherlock…”

Sherlock began to frantically undress, tossing his clothing away before pulling the sheets back and straddling John again. His pelvis did a slow thrusting pattern, catching John’s cock between his arse cheeks occasionally. “Master… I… I wish to pleasure you.”

The Pet words sounded so foreign on Sherlock’s lips even though it was supposed to be Sherlock’s nature to speak them. The submissive was supposed to give their body over to those that they saw as their protector or spouse. 

“You sound like a Pet…” John whispered, helping to guide Sherlock to lie down on top of him. “Talk like yourself. Go ahead and order me around.”

“Fuck me…” Sherlock gasped, rubbing his penis against John’s belly. “Fuck me until I scream.”

“Ok… not quite the order I was thinking of…”

“Shut up, John! Do you have anything that will make this union less painful? Lotion perhaps? A pot of petroleum?”

“The bathroom… there was lotion.”

Sherlock jumped up from the bed and turned on the lamp before racing off to the bathroom. A few moments later he returned with the hand pump of organic lotion. Taking a few liberal squirts he set it aside and wrapped his slippery hands around John’s cock. 

“Woah!” John cried out as Sherlock began to work his member to full erection. “Slowly… slowly… You’re going to hurt yourself… or me.”

“Do be quiet.” Sherlock replied haughtily. Managing to get John up he began to move his hips to find the correct spot to sit upon. “Ah… there we go.” Sherlock grunted as he impaled himself with the fleshy organ. Closing his eyes he fought to control the pain on his face. “You’re so big.”

John placed his hands on Sherlock’s thighs, staring up at the other man in concern. “Slowly, Sherlock. I’m not going anywhere. So tight… shit…”

Bottoming out, Sherlock rested, experimentally squeezing with his muscles around John, feeling him wedged within him deeply. “Master…” 

“Yes, love?” John stared up at the submissive man above him.

Sherlock rocked his hips, causing them both to gasp. “I’ve been naughty.”

“It’s alright… really it is. I forgive you.” John struggled to sit up, holding Sherlock on his lap. 

“I thought the sugar was drugged… and I put it in your coffee.”

John shut his eyes and leaned his forehead against Sherlock’s sternum. “This is why you wanted to do this? I thought you were still out of sorts from when told me you didn’t have any friends.”

“That too.”

“Sherlock… Sherlock, Sherlock…” John sighed and sounded defeated as he sat still, dick deep in his Pet.

Sherlock tightened on John a moment and shifted, feeling John’s cock rub within him. “Yes, Master?”

“Maybe we should stop.”

“No.” Sherlock replied, rolling his hips. Something within him was reacting to John’s girth, making him want to move to feel it again and again.

“You drugged me?”

“It wasn’t in the sugar.”

“You thought it was, though.”

“But it wasn’t. It was in the fog.” Sherlock tried to push John back down so he could get on with their fucking.

“You wanted to test it on me? Am I a lab rat? Do you… really hate me so much?”

“What? Why would I hate you?” Sherlock stopped in his movements. 

“I was afraid… back in the lab… I was terrified!”

“That was the fog…”

“But…”

Sherlock leaned down and pressed his lips to John’s, efficiently silencing the other man. “Hush! Don’t ruin it… Please, Master?”

Silently John nodded and reached out to take Sherlock’s arse in his hands. “You need more stimulation?”

“Please?”

John pushed Sherlock back and rolled on top. With a snap of his hips he began a ruthless rhythm that soon had Sherlock wrapping his legs around the other man to hold him tightly. “You’re so fucking tight!”

“But you feel so good. More… More Master. Claim me. Bind us together. Bind us… as mates.” 

John nodded as he worked, trying to take Sherlock closer to the edge without them both falling off… not yet anyway. “I, John Watson, claim you Sherlock Holmes… as my life mate as well as my submissive. I’ll follow you into death if you lead me there… I will stand between you and the darkness if that is what must be done. To the end of my days, my body and soul belong to you. I seal this bonding with my semen and my lips.” John bent down and kissed, a shiver passing through him as I finally reached the edge and tumbled over. His hand immediately started to work at Sherlock’s cock. “Your vow…”

“I, Sherlock Holmes, take you John Hamish Watson as my life mate as well as my dominant. I will rely on you to protect me even if I feel I don’t need protecting… you have my best interests at heart. To the end of my days, body and soul I belong to you. I seal this bonding with my first seed and my lips.” Craning his head up he waited for John to kiss him before he cried out and made a mess between them. 

They gasped together, bodies still throbbing warmly as they both came down from their post coital highs. 

“Oh god… Mycroft Holmes is now my brother in law.”

Sherlock chuckled softly, nuzzling under John’s chin. “He’ll be thrilled.”

“First seed? Really? That was your first orgasm?”

“You know night emissions don’t count… otherwise I would have been rid of that stigma long ago. And doing it myself is just… tedious.”

“Did you… like it?”

“I can understand why so many people enjoy it.”

“Is this the last time we do this?”

“What? No! Why would you think that?”

“Transit.”

“I told you… I’m yours, body and soul.”

“It doesn’t mean literally… as in I own you and can tell you what to do with your body. If you invite me to share pleasure with you I certainly won’t deny you. But I don’t expect it because I’m now your mate.”

“Maybe you should expect it.” Sherlock pulled away and headed for the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower.”

John fell asleep long before Sherlock got back to bed.

^.~

John sat in Mycroft’s office. “This is YOUR fault. You fed Moriarty information to use against my mate. You’ve betrayed our tribe!”

“I am sorry…” Mycroft breathed, shaking his head. “It was the only way to get him to talk…”

“Sherlock is a wreck! He jumps at his own shadow… his SHADOW, Mycroft! How am I supposed to protect him from his own fucking shadow?”

“I… don’t know.”

“You have to fix this! I will never forgive you or trust you again. Tribes are built on trust as well as family and you’ve betrayed BOTH!”

“Yes, I know! I’m truly very sorry, John.” Mycroft sighed deeply. “I didn’t know what else to do…”

“Just FIX it!” John growled dangerously and then stormed away, still very angry.

^.~

“Goodbye John…” Sherlock whispered before tossing the phone away and jumping off the roof of St. Bart’s.

^.~

John sat in the living room of the flat he once shared with his brilliant submissive and mate… the other half to his soul. But now he was broken and alone.

“I failed to protect you… I’m so sorry… I never deserved to be your mate.” John whispered, rubbing his face, trying to keep the tears away. “What kind of dominant am I if I can’t even protect you?” Tears escaped and he sat, silently sobbing into his hands. 

A knock came from the door and John pushed the tears away, looking around. “Hello? Who’s there?”

Mycroft opened the door and stood in the doorway.

“Get out.” John whispered.

“The funeral arrangements have been made as per your request. Tomorrow… we’ll hold the ceremony.”

“Get out…” John breathed.

“As his mate you’re entitled to…”

“I don’t want anything! I don’t want anything from you, your family, your tribe… NOTHING! I want Sherlock BACK! Do you understand? You sent me to him and I fell in love with him like an idiot and I want him BACK! I want him ALIVE and right here… right there!” John pointed at his side. “I want him to call me an idiot and reach out for me… and cry out my name when I fuck him and try to fit his face under my chin when he wants comfort or give me that silly smirk when he has something clever in mind. I want him BACK! Bring him back NOW!”

Mycroft shook his head. “I… I’m so sorry…”

“Just get out!” John snapped.

“I will send the car for you tomorrow at 9am.”

John picked up his mug of tea and threw it at the doorframe beside Mycroft where it smashed into a hundred pieces, dripping tea down the wall. “OUT!”

Mycroft obeyed.

The next day John and Mrs. Hudson managed to make it into the black car that had been sent for them. But he kept his mouth shut and eyes out the window. On some level he knew Mrs. Hudson’s presence was meant to soften the blow and give him some sense of comfort, but John was too angry with Mycroft for that. The two made it to the cemetery in silence and John escorted the landlady to the graveside, allowing her to sit next to another older woman. Lestrade and Molly stood nearby along with a few people who knew Sherlock well. A couple of the homeless network stood not far off as if to pay their respects.

The woman at the graveside looked up at John and hastily wiped away tears. The way Mycroft lingered at her side she could only be Sherlock’s mother. There was no sign of his father.

“Oh dear… you should be sitting… you’re his mate.”

“No… you sit, Mrs. Hudson.” John whispered with his voice raw from fighting tears. 

“You’re John Watson?” Sherlock’s mother whispered. “Where were you when he needed you? You were his Master, weren’t you? Why couldn’t you protect my son?”

John flinched and stared at the gaping hole below the casket, wishing it would swallow him up.

“Where were you?”

Those gathered grew deathly quiet hearing Mrs. Holmes’ accusations. Only Mycroft stepped forward. “Mummy… John had no control over it. Sherlock sent him away. You know how he could be… so stubborn… so…”

“John was his MASTER!” The older woman replied. “His Master and his mate! Sherlock NEEDED him!”

Mrs. Hudson made fretful motions, as if to cover her discomfort. Finally she looked to John. “John, Dear… I think perhaps I need an escort home. Yes, that will be nice.”

John reached out for his landlady’s arm and guided her back towards the car. 

“It’s alright, Luv.” Mrs. Hudson whispered softly to John. “It wasn’t your fault. I know how Sherlock could be… we all know. Sherlock isn’t here to take her anger… so she lashes out at you instead. It’s not fair, but she’s hurt.” The older woman lightly caressed John’s arm. “I know you’re hurt too. But I have some of your favorite tea and biscuits back at my flat. We’ll have our own little wake.”

“That would be lovely, Mrs. Hudson.” John replied, opening the car door for her. 

By the time the tea was made there were visitors to the door. Lestrade and Molly stood, waiting on the doorstep. “Better than a stuffy old Holmes wake!” Lestrade smiled at John. “To Sherlock’s true family!” The DI toasted with a glass of wine that had been uncorked and passed around the party. 

“Do you remember the time he fell into the garbage truck?” Lestrade asked a couple of hours later. 

“I was right behind him!” John laughed. “We stank for days! No one wanted to be near us. Your Yarders kept taking several steps away whenever he took a step towards them, trying to keep their distance.”

“The banana-peel hanging off his head when he was telling us about the murderer? I nearly lost it!” Lestrade burst out laughing. 

“He was so cross with you!” John giggled. 

“Reckless…” Lestrade mused, taking another sip of wine.

“Yes… reckless… and stubborn.”

“I knew you had a crush on him long before you two… you know!”

“How could I not? He was adorable… and annoying as hell.”

“And he adored you.” Lestrade breathed. 

John blushed and shook his head. “We… fought a lot.”

“Yeah… but I could tell by the way he looked at you when you weren’t looking.” Lestrade stated in all seriousness of an inebriated person who was sure about something.

Molly hiccupped in that moment and looked around guiltily from where she sat nursing her own drink. The party had long ago moved to 221B instead of Mrs. Hudson’s flat.

“I don’t know…” John sighed, wiping his face with the back of his hand. “I don’t know if he even loved me.”

“Don’t say that!” Molly suddenly burst out and then pulled her wine to her face to hide behind the glass.

“Sometimes I think… I was just convenient for him. He needed a Master… and then he just gave me whatever I wanted to keep me from wandering away.”

“God John… he was… nuts about you.” Lestrade replied.

“I… didn’t see it. And if he was… then why did he do it? I could have protected him. But he jumped. His mother was right… I should have been more to him. Maybe I couldn’t help him because I wasn’t really mate or Master to him.”

“Don’t say that!” Lestrade said, turning to John. “You changed him. Before he met you he was… not very pleasant to be around. But you affected him and he became softer, nicer. He opened himself up because of you… because he had a Master to protect him. And for a few weeks after Dartmoor he was almost radiant… mating you did him a load of good… until Moriarty came back.”

“Yeah… until He came back…” Molly didn’t speak of her ex-boyfriend by name.

“But for those few weeks, mate… god he was glorious. You had him under your thumb and he worshipped you… all because you became his.” Lestrade’s eyes were shining. “You two were in sync. I should have suggested that you bed him a lot sooner, it would have done him a world of good. A way to a Holmes’ heart is through his arse!” Lestrade chuckled at his own crude humor. “Speaking from experience… of course…”

Molly grunted and tried to set her glass down on the table. “Sleepy…”

“You can crash here on the couch… or take my old room if you can reach it. You two shouldn’t be out and about right now… piss-arsed drunk.”

“That’s how you know it was a good wake!” Lestrade raised his glass. “Here, Molly… let’s get you to bed.” Lestrade stood up and managed to help the mortician onto her feet. “Goodnight then, John.”

“Goodnight. And thank you… for this. I needed it.”

“John… I’m so, so sorry!” Molly started to cry. “I’m so sorry!”

“Come on, Moll… let’s get you upstairs and tucked in.” Lestrade pulled the woman away and up the stairs. 

John put out extra pillows and blankets onto the couch before retiring to Sherlock’s old room. Toeing off his shoes he collapsed onto the bed and clutched Sherlock’s pillow, holding it to his face. At that moment he wanted to stop breathing and follow Sherlock in death surrounded by bedding that still smelled of his Pet. Instead he curled up into a fetal position and fell into a swirling vortex of unconsciousness. 

It was near dawn when John woke, his senses still swimming from the alcohol only a couple of hours previous. It was dim and he could blearily see the ceiling. A sound had woken him… or had it been a sensation? Something warm was between his legs and he could feel a mouth sucking down his cock. It seemed they had been at it for a while because he was already very hard. Moaning he reached down to touch, trying to figure out who had invaded his bed. The person pulled away so all he could feel was his own dampened prick, evidence someone had been there. “Who’s there?”

A hand touched his naked thigh and a body crawled back up, warm breath ghosting over his penis. “Shh…” Someone whispered.

“Who’s there?” John struggled to sit up, trying to make out shapes in the dim light. A blanket covered his visitor and all he could see was a lump at the foot of the bed. His hands pushed at the blankets trying to get a glimpse of the person taking liberties with his own person. 

The person under the blanket emerged and blinked back at him in the darkness. 

“Sherlock?” John breathed.

“Shh…” Sherlock replied, lying back down between John’s thighs. “You’ll wake everyone.”

“But you’re… you’re…” It was hard to concentrate with a warm, wet mouth wrapped around his engorged cock. Fellatio hadn’t really been a component in their previous love making. It was something John did for Sherlock but his Pet never reciprocated… until after his death it seemed. “Fucking hell…” John moaned, pushing up into Sherlock’s mouth. At that moment his orgasm hit and he rolled his head back as he emptied pulse after pulse into the accepting mouth.

Sherlock coughed a little, unprepared for the mouthful John gave him. But he stayed where he was until John finished. Pulling off, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Wasn’t what I expected…”

“For a ghost or a wet dream you were pretty good.” John replied, covering his face with his hands.

Sherlock moved to lie beside John, resting a hand on his chest. “Do I feel like a ghost?”

“I had a lot to drink last night after the funeral… who knows what you are. For all I know you’re Greg. I don’t think he went home last night.”

“He was snoring on the coach when I came in.” Turning on the bedside lamp, Sherlock gently pulled John’s hands away from his face. “Look at me, John.”

John flinched and blinked several times to get used to the light. Finally he stared at the man beside him on the bed. “You’re dead.”

“Master…” Sherlock breathed, touching John’s cheek. “I’m not…”

“Yes you are! You’re just a ghost. You have to be.”

“A ghost that sucks you off?” Sherlock raised an eyebrow.

“You’re an incubus then…” 

“John…”

“I told you… I drank a lot last night… maybe I died of alcohol poisoning. That has to be it… I drank too much so here we are in our own private little heaven.” John gave his mate a smile. 

“I’m not dead… and neither are you.” Sherlock sighed and turned off the light before snuggling against John. “I have to leave soon.” 

“Why are you haunting me, Sherlock?”

Sherlock lightly touched John’s chest with his fingertips. “I had to tell you… that I’m sorry. I know I hurt you but you can’t protect me this time. I’m risking your life just be being here with you. But I had to say I’m sorry properly, Master.”

“I should be the one to say sorry. I couldn’t protect you… I couldn’t…”

“Hush! It’s… fine.”

“No! It’s not! You’re my Pet and my mate… I should be able to protect you from anyone who wants to harm you! Your mother… oh god, your mother was RIGHT! I should have protected you… I’m not worthy to be your mate or your Master.”

“Don’t say that!” Sherlock leaned in and kissed John on the lips, licking until he forced his tongue in. They snogged silently for a long moment until Sherlock pulled away, breathless. “John… you have been more than I could have ever hoped for. I admit that I didn’t want you when we first met but… I thought you were sent by Mycroft to interfere with my life. But you’ve been so… perfect for me. You were meant to be my Master and my mate. Never doubt yourself. If Moriarty hadn’t… there’s three assassins targeting those closest to me. John… I have to stop them.”

“Then take me with you!”

“No!” Sherlock clutched John tighter. “Please… no… Just… mourn me. I’ll stop them. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Let me be Master for this. Please stay… and be safe. I’ll come home when I can. If you come with me they’ll suspect… and the other targets will be in real danger… Do it for them? No one can know… can suspect that I’m alive.” Sherlock’s head rested under John’s chin as he caressed his Master’s chest. 

“Sherlock…” John wrapped his arms around his mate and held him tight. “Please don’t do this. We’ll find a way to protect them… and I’ll protect you. Please… don’t leave me again.”

Sherlock kissed John gently. “Thank you.”

“Why?”

“For caring…” 

John caught Sherlock’s face and held him close. “I love you.”

Sherlock took a deep breath and kissed John again. “I will return. Until then… mourn me. Make them believe I’m gone.” Pulling away he got up from the bed and grabbed the small bag he had packed before waking John. 

John sat up and hugged Sherlock from behind. “Take care of yourself.” Lightly he kissed the other man’s neck, taking in his scent. “Come home soon.”

“I’ll send word through Mycroft.” Sherlock promised as he kissed John again. “Goodbye, John.”

“Goodbye…” John answered as he watched his mate sneak out of the flat and he wondered if he would ever see him again.

^.~

Two years, eight months and fourteen days later John came home from work at the clinic to the flat on Baker Street to find Sherlock Holmes waiting for him. Shutting the door and locking it he turned to regard his mate who stood up to greet him. “Is it done?”

Sherlock nodded and stepped towards John, allowing the other man to hold him close. “I missed you…”

John squeezed the detective tightly. “You’re home now. I’ve got you.”

“So much blood…”

“You’re not hurt, are you?” John pulled away and looked the gaunt man before him up and down.

“A little… but I patched myself up. Theirs mostly…” But Sherlock was being pushed back into the bedroom and forced to sit on the bed. “John…”

“Clothes off! Let me check.”

“I’m fine!” Sherlock insisted but began to undress.

John couldn’t help but notice that the clothing that used to fit snuggly now hung off of Sherlock’s thin frame. “You haven’t been eating enough.”

“I had a job to do.”

“Oh, Sherlock...” John sighed and wrapped his arms around Sherlock’s head, kissing his temple. “Luv, you have to eat. Look at you… I can see your ribs.” John pulled away to carefully examine his Pet’s body. His fingers traced scars that were a year old or less. Fingertips traced the pronounced bottom ribs. “Are you hungry?”

Sherlock shook his head. “Mycroft force fed me before he brought me here.”

“Good for him.” John went on to find a fresh gauze dressing on Sherlock’s upper arm. Carefully he checked the wound, finding it to be from a bullet that had grazed the skin. John redid the dressing and kissed the bandage. “You almost didn’t make it back…”

Sherlock bowed his head as he waited for his Master to finish poking and prodding all of his wounds. Instinct told him to allow for the exam as part of the dynamic of their biological roles. It was a Master’s job to protect… and if that wasn’t possible then they would be compelled to check every wound and try to soothe and touch their Pet. Touch was very important to reestablish their link. Undoing his trousers he pushed them and his pants off, allowing John to work through all the scars on his thighs and his calves. Patiently he waited, leaning back on the bed.

“Sherlock… oh, Sherlock… how many fights were you in? These all happened around the same time… what?”

“I was caught briefly.” Sherlock offered. “They had a knife. Mostly nicks, if you notice…”

“Except this one!” John found the scar on Sherlock’s hip. His lips kissed the blemish. “I almost lost you…”

“They’re gone now… I’m safe.” Sherlock reached down to run his hand through John’s hair. 

“I should have taken your place.”

“Moriarty was after me…”

“He was after us!”

“But I was his nemesis.”

“Sherlock… we’re partners. Mates… Master and Pet. You know I would have followed you if you’d have let me.”

“I needed you to protect the others.”

“I know… but I still would have gone.”

Sherlock ran his hand through John’s hair, messing it up in the process. “I trusted you to take care of them for me. To protect them… my big, strong mate… my Master… protecting those I care about.”

John nuzzled against Sherlock’s belly, not liking seeing evidence of the iliac crest so close to the surface. His nose sniffled at Sherlock’s half aroused penis, breathing on it, kissing it. “You need some meat on your bones…”

“You may feed me as much as you like. I won’t complain. But first…” Sherlock reached down and touched John’s cheek, guiding him to crawl up his body and lay fully clothed atop him. Casually he wrapped his legs around John’s waist and smiled up at him. “First I want to feel you… fully.”

“I’m afraid I might break you.” John gave a sad smile, caressing Sherlock’s too prominent cheek bone. 

“I want to fuck.”

“We can have sex later.” John replied, pulling off. “You tuck into bed and I’ll go grab you a plate and some fluids. You’re probably dehydrated too.” Quickly he left, not wanting to leave Sherlock for long.

Sherlock lay on the bed, not bothering to move… too tired. 

John returned with a tray and non-caffeinated tea. Getting Sherlock into bed and arranged he placed the tray on his lap and made sure Sherlock ate every bite. “Doctor’s orders.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “After I eat can we fuck?”

“You won’t have the energy.” John replied. “When you’ve gained back a stone or so I’ll think about it.”

“John…” Sherlock rolled his eyes.

“It serves you right for neglecting yourself, Mr. I Need No One.”

Of course John, the Master, won the argument.

^.~

Lestrade grinned at Sherlock. “I’m glad you’re back.” 

“Thank you.”

“This git was just a bit stir crazy without you bossing him around.” Lestrade indicated John.

“And you had no clue Mycroft had him in hiding?” John asked, concerned about his fellow tribesman. 

“None. But then again it’s not like I have the clearance for everything in his life.” Lestrade shrugged. “I’m just his Pet… for now. And you know Mycroft… he loves his little secrets. This one kept Sherlock safe so… I guess I can live with that.”

“It also kept Mrs. Hudson and yo-…” But Sherlock kicked John in the shin. “Shite!”

Lestrade looked between the two, confused. “Anyway… good to have you back, Sherlock. I’ll throw you some good cases. John… we’ll get a pint or two.”

“Bye Greg!” John replied, seeing the DI out the door. “You didn’t have to kick me, Sherlock!”

“I don’t want them to know.”

“You could have warned me!”

“Didn’t think about it… had to get your attention somehow. Anyway… back onto the important subject.”

“You gained a stone.” John repeated back what Sherlock had told him before Lestrade had stopped by.

“Yes. A full stone! My ribs…” Opening his shirt he showed off his chest. “See… muscle tone has returned.”

“You’re still thin.”

“I was always thin!” Sherlock replied, undoing his trousers to show off his hips. “See? Nothing boney popping out.” 

John reached out and placed his hands on Sherlock’s hips. “You know I love you, right? I want you to be healthy. Sex is physically demanding exercise and it can be very uncomfortable in the condition you were in.”

“I know…” Sherlock replied meekly, resting his hands on John’s forearms. “So… can we?”

“Alright… go fetch the lube.”

Sherlock grinned like a schoolboy and practically ran to the bathroom to grab the lube before returning to the bedroom with it. Hurriedly he finished undressing and tossed his clothes aside. Really he was feeling like a virgin again… like the night in Dartmoor almost three years previous. Using a handful of lube he began to work himself open.

John entered the bedroom to see Sherlock with a foot up on the bed, fingers in his arse, looking anxious. Letting out a chuckle he began to undress. “What if I wanted to be on the bottom this time?”

Sherlock stopped in his preparation and stared, wide eyed at John. “Do you?”

“We haven’t tried it yet… but I have fantasized about it… especially while you were away.”

Sherlock continued his preparation. “Maybe next time… I’m ready.”

John had only just finished pulling off his shirt and socks. “Sherlock…”

Sherlock approached his Master and began to undo his trousers. “Less talk, more undressing.”

“Sherlock…” John laughed nervously, finding himself completely naked before being pushed back onto the bed. “Sherlock… slow down! Remember what I told you our first time? You’re going to hurt yourself… or me. Now… slowly… You haven’t done this for almost three years so your body needs time to adjust.”

Sherlock straddled his Master and slowly impaled himself on John’s cock. Closing his eyes he began to work himself down to the hilt, frustrated with his body’s need for patience. “I want us to be one.”

“We are one.” John replied, caressing Sherlock’s thighs. “We’ve been one.”

Sherlock shook his head. “That you haven’t replaced me…”

“What?” John stopped the movement and sat up. “Sherlock? Replaced you?”

“I left you for so long… I’m your Pet… you’re my Master and my mate… I left you unsatisfied for years. I’m sorry, Master. I deserved it if you found someone else while I was gone.”

“There is no one else!” John replied, shaking his head. “You stupid… frustrating genius!” Gasping for air, feeling his cock imbedded in the man above him, he rested his head on Sherlock’s sternum. “You are my mate, Sherlock… I would never replace you.”

“Even if I was dead?”

“But you weren’t dead.”

“You thought I was dead… for a while anyway. But I came back to make sure you knew I was alive.”

“You did it to make sure I wouldn’t find another mate? Is that what that was about? Oh god, Sherlock… why would I find another mate? I was devastated when you jumped. I don’t think I would have recovered to even go looking again even if I wanted to. You’re my mate. My Pet… my best friend… I love you! I love you with every fiber of my being. That’s not something I can just… get over. It took me 38 years to even find you… to take a chance and find my Pet… my other half. I took a chance… a gamble because some government goon who turned out to be your brother thought I might be a fit for you. That’s not something that can be replaced. I know that other Master was horrible to you… but you have to understand, Sherlock… he was never your Master. I am. So there’s no way he should have any control over you or your thoughts or influence your actions. He was never your Master. Your Master worships you… and loves you. They welcome your touch and their idea of heaven is to be in your arms. Sherlock… you are so loved… so adored. I couldn’t imagine feeling that way about anyone else… because the truth is I’m yours. I’ve been yours since I met you. Even when I was dating women I was still yours… because… as I told you then all it would take is one word from you and I would stop. I meant it… so when you asked me to bind with you in Dartmoor… I did it… because I’m yours and you asked me to. I let you go chase assassins and waited for you because you asked me to. I would do anything for you because I’m yours.”

Sherlock wrapped his arms around John’s shoulders and squeezed the still embedded cock with his anal muscles. “Oh… John…” Gently he rolled onto his back, guiding John on top of him. Pressing their foreheads together he breathed in his Master’s air. “I’m yours. I didn’t want to admit that you had me… but I’m yours.” Kissing the other man he wrapped his legs tighter, encouraging slow thrusts. “But sometimes I wondered if you were with me only because my brother asked you to be…”

John stopped. “I met you because of Mycroft… but after that it was all you.” Resuming his thrusts, he reached down to squeeze Sherlock’s penis. “Do you want to switch?”

“Not yet!” Sherlock moaned, wrapping his legs tighter. “Faster… harder.”

Holding Sherlock’s hips, John began to thrust with more wild abandon two and a half years of celibacy had bottled up. “Fuck… you’re so tight… Sherlock…”

“Harder, John…” Sherlock internally squeezed.

John cried out and began to pull Sherlock’s hips to meet his own, burying himself as deep as he could with each stroke. 

With a soft cry Sherlock went stiff and spurted between them, clenching down on his lover.

John gave a few more thrusts before he pushed in one final time, releasing into Sherlock. “So tight… like a bloody virgin!”

“It has been a while…” Sherlock panted. “Sometimes I thought I would never be with you again… but then that gave me a kind of strength because I wanted to be with you again… so I pushed on and survived.”

John sighed and rested his forehead against Sherlock’s, breathing in his air. “Never leave me like that again.”

Sherlock nodded, lightly kissing John’s chin.

“I mean it, Sherlock… Masters aren’t supposed to feel so helpless.”

Wrapping his arms around John’s back, Sherlock pulled him down to him, still impaled but content. “But it made good sex.”

“Stop it… you know what I mean.” John sighed and pulled out to lie at Sherlock’s side, still wrapped up in the man. 

“Nothing can keep me away from you. I feel… I have feeling when I’m with you, John. I didn’t leave you because I wanted to… I had to. If you had been killed… there would have been nothing left for me. You say you took a chance… falling in love with me. But I took a chance too… and allowed you to give me feeling. The feelings are too new… too raw. I wouldn’t have survived losing you. Once I found you… if I lost you… don’t you understand? You should… because you’re better with feelings than I am. You’ve made me vulnerable… and weak. My weakness is you. If they planned to destroy me all they had to do was harm you and I would have fallen for real. I would follow you into death because I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”

“Sherlock…”

“You, at least, could somewhat survive my fall. You’re strong. You’ve had experience with loss. I never have because I’ve never let myself FEEL before I met you. And I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it. When Moriarty told me he planned to kill you… I couldn’t…” Sherlock looked away, his eyes moistening. “I only just found you… but losing you would have killed me. I know it would have killed me.”

John reached out and gently wiped the tears from Sherlock’s eyes, guiding his face back to meet his own in a soft kiss. 

“Forgive me… please, John? I only did it for you.”

“I forgive you, Luv.”

Sherlock curled up against his Master where he belonged and John held him tightly. 

\--Fin

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited about season 3 being filmed! If you notice several of my fanfics deal with Sherlock's post-Reichenbach hiatus. Episode 3 of season 2 left me with so many... feelings. My heart breaks every single time I see it!
> 
> I can't wait for them to be resolved! (thus why I write about it... a lot)
> 
> Hints: Rat Wedding Bow  
> My guesses are:  
> Sussex Vampire for Rat (Giant Rat of Sumatra)  
> The Noble Bachelor for Wedding (the bride disappeared! Turns out she was already married)  
> And His Last Bow for Bow (WWI and beekeeping)


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